Tuesday, February 17, 2015

BPD Central: Subcategories of BPD

Subcategories of People with BPD

People with the same BPD diagnosis can act quite differently. Researchers have been trying to categorize them for decades. One "real world,” subjective way is to divide them into three groups: 

  • Lower-Functioning/Conventional
  • Higher-Functioning/Invisible
  • Combination (a mixture of both styles)
No category is "better” than the other. Each category has four dimensions: coping techniques, co-occurring mental health issues, functioning, and impact on family members.
Mostly Lower-Functioning Conventional BPsMostly Higher-Functioning Invisible BPsCombination
Coping TechniquesSelf-harm and suicidal thoughtsCriticism and blame of others far beyond the normAnger, rages common to both
Willingness to Obtain HelpHospitalized or day/outpatient treatmentRefuses help or attends therapy only when threatenedMore outpatient than inpatient
Co-occurring (Concurrent) Mental Health IssuesEating Disorders, Bipolar, or others that frequently bring them into treatmentNarcissistic Personality Disorder, invisible to clinical communitySubstance abuse, depression common to both
FunctioningLower: May be disabled or often loses jobsHigher: usually employed and job performance doesn’t sufferProblems with coworkers may be common to both
Typical Family Member ChallengesFinding and paying for treatment; parents often overburdened; exhaustion and burn-outTrying to convince the BP to get treatment, bewilderment, PTSD, losing confidence and self-esteemDifficulty setting limits common to both
You can find the full description and chat in Randi Kreger’s book on pages 37-40 in The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells

BPD Central: BPD Hallmarks

https://www.bpdcentral.com/borderline-disorder/hallmarks-of-bpd/

Hallmarks of BPD

Being a borderline feels like eternal hell. Nothing less. Pain, anger, confusion, never knowing how I’m gonna feel from one minute to the next. Hurting because I hurt those whom I love. Feeling misunderstood. Nothing gives me pleasure. Wanting to die but not being able to kill myself because I’d feel too much guilt for those I’d hurt, and then feeling angry about that so I cut myself or take an overdose to make all the feelings go away.

Following are hallmarks of borderline personality disorder:

Intense fear of abandonment, real or imaginary.
I have BPD. One night I called my girlfriend and she said she would call me back because she was watching TV. She didn’t call for two and a half hours. It hurt so bad because the day before, I had started to believe that she really loved me. By the time the phone rang I had decided to get rid of her before she could get rid of me. It turns out she had still been watching a movie. I felt so ridiculous, but the pain, the fear, and the gut-wrenching poker in my gut were very real.
Having intense relationships with lots of conflict, and seeing the other person as “all-good" or “all bad."
When we first began dating, my borderline girlfriend told me I was the very first guy who really loved her for what she was. Everything was fantastic. After a few months, she started criticizing me and everything I did was wrong. She would break up with me and then want to get back together—sometimes in the same day.
Feeling unsure about one’s identity; a lack of “personhood" or non-existence. Feeling empty, like one has a black put inside them that can never fill up.
Like a lot of people with BPD, I have a chameleon-like ability to take on the coloring of the individual I am with. But the act is done more to fool me than to fool them. The process isn’t even really conscious. I feel unreal—like a phony. When other people aren’t around me I feel invisible.
Engaging in impulsive “pain management" behaviors, such as going on spending sprees, having promiscuous sex, driving recklessly, abusing drugs or alcohol, binge eating, breaking the law, threatening suicide or making attempts, and engaging in self-harm.
Parenting my borderline daughter with is a twenty-four-hour-a-day job. She comes in my bedroom at midnight, crying and bleeding from self-inflicted cuts. She has sex with men she barely knows and doesn’t use birth control. Her current boyfriend sells drugs, and I think she is using them too.
Being emotional unstable: frequent and fast mood changes; uncontrolled, intense anger and rage; and intense sadness and irritability.
When in a rage, it seemed like my BP partner was channeling an evil spirit. Her eyes had no life in them: just a blankness. She didn’t see who I was or how she was hurting me. There was no way to negotiate, no way to reason or argue. She did not understand rational arguments.

Her voice would become more rapid, accusatory, demeaning, patronizing, irrational, and paranoid. Her tone was very fast—rat-a-tat-tat—like she was firing at me. She would pace and become very menacing, growing closer and closer as I became more and more afraid.
Paranoia in very stressful situations; episodes of numbness or “zoning out" or “dissociation" (feeling numb or "zoned out").
After we separated, my borderline wife and I sorted out a time when she wouldn’t be home when I would come to pick up my belongings. At the agree-upon time, she went into some kind of real panic and told me she thought I was coming there to rape her.


Assumptions held by BPD sufferers

When you're interacting with someone with BPD, it's crucial to understand that their unconscious assumptions may be very different from yours.
Their assumptions may include:
  • I must be loved by all the important people in my life at all times or else I am worthless. I must be completely competent in all ways to be a worthwhile person.
  • Some people are good and everything about them is perfect. Other people are thoroughly bad and should be severely blamed and punished for it.
  • My feelings are always caused by external events. I have no control over my emotions or the things I do in reaction to them.
  • Nobody cares about me as much as I care about them, so I always lose everyone I care about-despite the desperate things I try to do to stop them from leaving me.
  • If someone treats me badly, then I become bad.
  • When I am alone, I become nobody and nothing.
  • I will be happy only when I can find an all-giving, perfect person to love me and take care of me no matter what.
  • But if someone close to this loves me, then something must be wrong with them.
  • I can't stand the frustration that I feel when I need something from someone and I can't get it. I've got to do something to make it go away.
Keep in mind that these do not reflect the thinking of every person with BPD. You must judge what is pertinent in your individual circumstances.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

15 Mental Tricks to Fight Depression

Depression is difficult, but there are handy mental tricks you can use, which are proven to work well to lift your mood. Use these mental tricks to build a more positive mindset and keep the black dog at bay.

1. Don’t catastrophize

Stop thinking about the worst-case scenario, and all the things that could possibly go wrong. Instead, step back and take a realistic look at life. Nothing is ever the end of the world, after all.

2. Stop ruminating

A lot of bad moods are worsened by the fact that you keep thinking about them, and feeling sorry for yourself. Stop being so concerned with how you feel. You’ll never change things by getting stuck in thinking about them – take action instead, to make things better.

3. Get perspective

If you think your depression has been fueled by a specific event, make sure you’re not blowing things out of proportion. A chat with a caring friend may help you to see your way through the fog.

4. Focus on the positives

Realize that your mood may be magnifying the bad things in life, and you may find yourself focusing on the negative. Instead, look for what’s good in a situation, even if it’s just a lesson or a chance to grow stronger.

5. Don’t over-analyze

Running through exactly what has gone wrong, and picking it to pieces, rarely helps. Instead of endlessly going over the problem, and getting bogged down in the details, start thinking about possible solutions.

6. Be kind to yourself

When people feel bad, they sometimes talk to themselves unkindly, and beat themselves up. What you need right now is a friend, not an enemy. Make sure your words and deeds are gentle and encouraging.

7. Don’t dwell on the past

It’s totally pointless to worry about the past, because you can’t change it. The best thing about the past is that it’s over. Allow yourself to move on.

8. Don’t fret about the future

The only power you have to change things is in the present moment, so it’s a waste of time worrying about the future, especially as you have no idea how things may turn out. Instead, take positive steps now, so you can handle whatever life throws at you.

9. Avoid black-and-white thinking

If something has gone wrong, or you made one mistake, it doesn’t mean that your whole life is doomed, or that you’re no good. Cut yourself slack and consider a more balanced version of events.

10. Fake it a bit

Science shows that even if you’re not happy, putting on a smile releases feel-good chemicals in your brain. If the mental trick of slapping on a big grin seems a bit much, then try a half-smile instead to lift your mood.

11. Stop being a victim

When you’re feeling low, it’s easy to get caught up in believing that bad things are happening because of you. Don’t allow yourself to believe that you’re a victim. You have the power to choose how you react to problems – and that’s the most powerful thing of all.

12. Get moving

It’s virtually impossible to hang onto a horrible mood when you’re jogging on the spot, or jumping on a trampoline, because your physiology won’t allow it. Try moving your body and see if that will brighten your mood.

13. Don’t isolate

You may be especially sensitive to what other people say and do if you’re feeling down, but remember that shutting yourself away will only make you feel worse. Meeting a friend for a quick coffee, or getting fresh air, can only help your frame of mind.

14. Reach out to others

Helping other people is a wonderful way of taking the focus off yourself and how you are feeling. Helping others feels good as well, so it’s a great mental trick to lift your mood.

15. Be grateful



It’s very difficult to be depressed if you can write a long list of all the things you love in your life. Not so much a mental trick, as a realization of what you’re very lucky to have, despite this tough time you’re going through.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/15-mental-tricks-fight-depression.html

5 Great Ways To Prevent Depression Naturally

In a large-scale survey called The National College Health Survey, year after year, roughly 45% of college students report being depressed to the point that it’s difficult to function and 80% say they’re overwhelmed.
Depression does not discriminate between the young and the old. In the 1960s the average age for the onset of depression was 29. Today the average age for the onset of depression is 14.
Depression is a problem that needs to be solved. Luckily there’s more and more research to suggest that it can be, and without the use of psychiatric medication.
Below I’ve listed the top five ways to prevent depression naturally according to scientific research.

1. Sleep

Losing out on sleep can lead to a downward spiral of depression. According to the National Sleep Foundation:
The relationship between sleep and depressive illness is complex–depression may cause sleep problems and sleep problems may cause or contribute to depressive disorders.”
When you lose out on sleep, you become more depressed and when you become more depressed, your sleep can be disrupted. It’s a vicious cycle that can culminate gradually over weeks and months.
The correct amount of sleep a person requires varies depending on lifestyle and age, but a general rule of thumb is to aim for 7 to 8 hours every night. If you don’t manage to get this amount of sleep, make sure to sleep longer the next day. Always pay your sleep debts.

2. Exercise

Over the last few decades there has been an explosion of research in the area of physical exercise and well-being.  Psychologists are realising how important it is to think about the body when trying to prevent depression.
Michael Babyak and his colleagues at Duke Medical School conducted a study on the effectiveness of exercise as an intervention for depression.
He took a group of 156 patients with major depression. Many had insomnia, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts. He randomly divided them into three groups and administered the following treatments:
  1. First group: 30 minutes of low intensity exercise three times per week.
  2. Second group: standard psychiatric medication.
  3. Third group: both exercise and medication.
The results of this experiment were shocking in two ways. After four months of treatment, 60% of the patients showed improvement. However, there were no significant differences in the recovery rates between the groups. Exercise worked just as well as medication.
If that wasn’t enough, another six months after the study Babyak did a follow-up to see the relapse rates. Out of the 60% of recovered patients, this is what they found:
  1. 38% of the medication only group relapsed.
  2. 31% of the medication and exercise group relapsed.
  3. Only 9% of the exercise only group relapsed back into depression.
Not only did exercise work as well as medication, it worked for longer. There are thousands of studies showing the effects of exercise to be extremely beneficial for our physical and psychological health. It could be the most important, yet undervalued, treatment to prevent depression.

3. Meditation

Meditation has been around for thousands of years, but for most of that time it was practiced mainly by monks in spiritual settings. Over the last few decades, however, scientists have started to discover that meditation is one of the most powerful natural interventions for anxiety and depression.
Thanks to modern technology such as the EEG and MRI scanners, scientists were able to take an in-depth analysis of the brains of people who have been meditating for decades. In one such study, they took the right hand men of the Dalai Lama and examined the ratio of their prefrontal cortex activity.
People who have more activation on the left side of their prefrontal cortex tend to be happier, while those with more activation on their right side tend to be more broody and depressed. If you look at a bell curve, most people fall somewhere in the middle. When they looked at the meditators, they were off the chart.
The monks had an extremely high ratio between their left and right prefrontal cortex. They had extreme susceptibility to positive emotions and extreme resilience in the face of negative emotions.
We don’t need to study for eight hours a day to get the benefits of meditation like the monks. Studies have shown that 15 minutes a day can produce incredible results with just eight weeks of practice. Meditation works.

4. Find your passion

People adapt very quickly to life’s pleasures and pains. If we win a lot of money, we feel a high and then we get used to having lots of money. If we get fired, we feel low and then eventually bounce back.
There are some things, however, that we don’t adapt to: passion. I would wager that the best actors in the world would continue to act even if they became the richest people on Earth. I would also wager that the richest CEOs in the world use only money as a measurement of their success, not as a means to live extravagantly.
You must find your passion. It is a happiness well that never dries out. It could be writing, creating, helping people, self-improvement, sport, or anything that engages you and provides the right amount of challenge and stimulation.
To live with passion, you must first find your passion.

5. Regulate your blood sugar

Can regulating your blood sugar really help to prevent depression?
It might surprise you to know that there have been numerous murderersand thieves exonerated for their crimes because they were suffering from hyperglycaemia, otherwise known as low blood sugar. The body and mind are deeply connected. If one goes wrong, so does the other.
A sugar crash comes after a sugar high. So the best way to avoid low blood sugar is to avoid high blood sugar. Doing this is easy, all you need to do is spread you carbohydrates throughout the day (don’t have loads in one sitting), eat plenty of fiber (at least 12g for every 1,000 calories you consume) and try to get some protein and fat in your diet so that it isn’t predominantly carbs.
If you follow these 5 steps, not only will you be able to prevent depression naturally, you’ll also be even happier than people who aren’t depressed.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/5-great-ways-prevent-depression-naturally.html

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Me: Anger

I feel I have an issue with anger. In group therapy we had to "identify" our emotions and differentiate between them all such as the difference between anger and disgust. I had a love/hate relationship with group (DBT). Individual proved far more successful, though expensive.

Things that anger me:
• Austin Community College presents ads that display, "i am acc."
They are an educational facility, this should not be an issue.
• People that tell all their sexual exploits for attention
• Laziness
• The "victimized"
• Ignorant people
• Deceitful charmers
• The term "African American." You can have ancestry that is dark-skinned without having African ancestry. Rihanna is "black" and her heritage is not from Africa, I believe it's Barbados. While they may have originated in Africa, I would then say that we are all African-something. I self-identify as "white" and while I'm not literally white, black people are not literally black. They are colloquial terms and though I despise many colloquial terms (ain't, y'all, fixin', etc.), I feel these terms are perfectly appropriate.
• People who say "Eat a cheeseburger." Mind your own damn business, some people's bodies don't process food exactly the same way or process it the same way.
• On that note, the opposite is the same: obesity. Overweight people annoy-anger me. I once served a couple who ordered a Coke instead of tipping me while she obviously had Diabetes as she rolled in with her wheelchair and barely fit in it. Don't eat out if you can't afford to tip at least 15% of what you are getting or even let them know that if they don't ring up the sodas (which are hard to account for), then the server might receive that money for a tip. General rule: 15% for eh service, 20% for good, 25% for great and anything above that for amazing service. Tip on tips: if you are hitting on your server, be sure to tip $5 minimum and 50%-100% to impress her. Really, guys? Tipping $2 and being 30 years older? Come on, now...
• Those who skirt responsibility and avoid communication
• Passing the buck
• Excuses
• When a patron doesn't say thank you or tip at least 15%
• Religious ignorance
• Sports fanatics
• Those who don't clap for everyone at karaoke
• People who are overly confident or not confident at all
• Attention whores
• Sexually inappropriate guys...and girls
• Obvious manipulation

How to Develop a Photographic Memory

Everyone wants to remember everything all the time, reach into the sciences behind it all.(Please rate with stars above)
Difficulty:
 
Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need

  • A dark room.
  • A bright lamp.
  • A sheet of paper with a rectangular hole cut the size of a paragraph for the text you want to "photograph".
    • 1
      This system will take 1 month for you to develop, you must take 15 minutes every day and dedicate it to this training. For the first month, your eyes will take about 5 minutes time to adjust to daylight reading.
    • 2
      Find a dark room in your house, free of distractions for 15 minutes. I use the bathroom. The room must have a bright lamp or ceiling lamp.
    • 3
      Sit down next to the light switch with your book and paper that has a rectangular hole cut out of it the size of a paragraph.
    • 4
      Cover the page, exposing only one paragraph and hold the book out in front of you. Close your eyes and open, adjust distance so that your eyes focus instantly with ease on the writing.
    • 5
      Turn off light. You will see an after glow as your eyes adjust to the dark. Flip light on for a split second and then off again.
    • 6
      You will have a visual imprint in your eyes of the material that was in front of you. When this imprint fades, flip the light on again for a split second, again staring at the material.
    • 7
      Repeat this process until you can recall every word in the paragraph in order. You will be able to actually see the paragraph and read it from the imprint in your mind.

Tips & Warnings

  • Do not get discouraged, it will work. It has been working for the military for 70 years.
  • You will be developing this technique to a point where you will be able to execute this during the day, all day.
  • Rate this article with the stars by my screen name.
  • Omitting even one day, can prolong training by as much as a week.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2IHSgb/Ef0kL2Zq:jkXtP-Oj/www.ehow.com/print/how_4476504_develop-photographic-memory.html

A Clever Visual Representation of Famous Quotes